Singing once made me incredibly happy. I would sing and connect to music, and it was amazing. Amazing not because I had a good or even passable singing voice, but because I loved music - the subtleties that make a great song.
Not anymore. After being unable to experience any positive emotion or any connection to joy for several months, today I realised that I don't even want to sing. It's almost like I can't sing any more. My voice is gone.
Perhaps its the frustration of not connecting to music any more. If I can't feel it anymore, why bother?
None of this is a concious choice. It's all unconcious. When I try to sing, it feels strange... like singing on Good Friday. I don't understand. When will I be back to myself again?
I wish I had an answer for you (and that the answer was "soon"). What does your doctor say?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support, Jenni. My doctors' don't say anything. I have another appointment tomorrow evening, and I hope he has some idea.
ReplyDeleteI'm now on long term disability... Sigh.
hey,
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. Once you lose that feeling, its hard to get back. Keep searching though :)
Thanks for your encouragement. I hope you're doing well.
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