Anxious

Crowds make me anxious and afraid... especially lately with everything I am experiencing.

This morning, my husband, son and I attended an event with approximately 1,000 people.  I was scared, and now that anxiety is radiating through me, filling me with dread as we're about to go to a festival in our city which 10's of thousands of people are expected to attend.

Normally, I look forward to this event.  It's usually way too expensive, very loud and very crowded, but lots of fun. 

I know I need to be strong for my son... as my childhood memories of this event are filled with happiness and excitement (not that I can recreate this in my soul right now... I just remember I was happy...).  And, I want him to feel the same way.

I am scared.  I hope we don't bump into anyone I know.  I hope to remain quietly anonymous... just another face in the crowd.  I don't want to say anything to anyone.  Just be.  Please let tomorrow be okay.