Thursday, 19 May 2016

Getting Through Bad Days

When you look at someone's life from the outside, it's impossible to know their daily struggles. 

It's hard to imagine anahedonia unless you've experienced it. You may seem normal on the outside, yet you aren't who you were before. Things that are major victories to you now are things you wouldn't have thought twice about accomplishing before. 

I marvel at myself. I once used to accomplish an incredible number of things during the day. Now, I'm happy to have washed and dried a load of laundry (bonus points for folding them and putting them away). 

I think one of the keys to survival is reframing our victories to the simpler things. You might not feel the pride of accomplishment because you tend to see what has not been done (especially in comparison to the you of the past).  It's easy to see what's missing, what has to be done. What if we focused on some of the smaller victories. Sure the laundry hasn't been folded and put away, but it's been washed. Better than yesterday. The dishes haven't been put away, but they are clean. Small steps. Baby steps. 

To quote Dory from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming."

Maybe by reframing the way we think, the frustrating feelings of defeat won't weigh us down so much. 

Maybe if we acknowledge what we have done, rather than focusing on what we haven't done (or have lost), positive emotions will start to peak through the darkness we live in. And, maybe, just maybe, they will continue to peak through until the darkness no longer covers the light. 

Just a thought. Just a thought.

Tuesday, 17 May 2016

It's been a while...

... and somehow I'm still holding on and moving forward. Maybe not moving forward, but staying in the same place.

It's been a while since my last update. Part of me got tired of reporting nothing, a lack of progress, a lack of change. The other part wondered if the "Tales of Depressed Mom" title was reinforcing my depression. And, part of me was too tired, too sick, too anything to commit words to screen. So, there you have it.

I'm still here. Going through the motions of life. Wondering. Waiting. Hoping for change, but not truly expecting it.

If anyone reads this, let me know how you're doing.