This morning, I woke up early and worked out at the gym. I spent a fortune on a membership about a month ago, and the dollar figure alone is a motivator to overcome my desire to hibernate.
As I was working out, I realise the happiest I've been in my adult life was when I allowed myself to focus on me. At one point in time, I lost about 65-70 lbs and felt great. I wasn't super-skinny, but I was healthy. I felt strong and confident.
I want to regain that feeling. Perhaps if I could lose some of the weight gained while I was pregnant, I might feel less sluggish (I gained about 90 pounds... Thankfully, 50 lbs came off shortly after I had my baby). I need to value myself more. Treat myself like I am important, rather than dismissing myself.
I know it won't be an overnight process, but I have to work towards finding myself again. Who am I? Where is the woman I was five years ago? Maybe if I can reconnect with her, I can find my emotions again.
It sounds to me like you've had a breakthrough. You deserve to treat yourself right, so go for it! And if you start to feel like you're being selfish, remember that you need to take care of YOU before you can take care of others.
ReplyDelete