Tuesday, 17 May 2016

It's been a while...

... and somehow I'm still holding on and moving forward. Maybe not moving forward, but staying in the same place.

It's been a while since my last update. Part of me got tired of reporting nothing, a lack of progress, a lack of change. The other part wondered if the "Tales of Depressed Mom" title was reinforcing my depression. And, part of me was too tired, too sick, too anything to commit words to screen. So, there you have it.

I'm still here. Going through the motions of life. Wondering. Waiting. Hoping for change, but not truly expecting it.

If anyone reads this, let me know how you're doing.


  1. I'm in your shoes, I'm here with you. I too struggle with Anhedonia, it's made my life and motherhood he'll. I'm here if you need me. I'd love to hear from you!

  2. Also, I just want you to know, your blogs are really helping me get through this tough time with my anhedonia. As a mother this is devastating. I would love to hear how you are doing.

  3. Thanks, Alyssa. I appreciate you checking in and your support. As you know, anhedonia can be a private hell. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and warm wishes.

  4. Thank you. You too. I'm glad to have found your blog in a very difficult time. I am 9 months in. Everyday I wake up in hope to feel, but I don't. There is some research with gut inflammation and anhedonia. The gut is the second brain. Stress causes inflammation. I'm working on a anti inflammatory diet. I'm so tired all the time which I feel much body is trying to tell me something is wrong. I wish you and your family well :) you are very strong and I hope one day you will find joy again.

  5. I'm thinking that as long as what you're doing isn't detrimental to your health or safety, just keep trying. Really. You never know what combination of things will work, so you can start to feel like yourself again. I know it's hard. Incredibly hard. I hope you find joy in your life too.

    1. I'm glad you are doing better. I'm hoping to get to the point where I can go back to work. But my anhedonia is so bad, I don't think it's possible at this point. I am afraid of people due to the lack of connection. I'm so fatigued as well. You should look into TMS. I'm going to do it next month. I'm severely depressed from my anhedonia. I heard this treatment could help. Hang in the momma.

      I don't know how you do it. I'm hanging on by a thread. But I pray women like you and me will heal from this condition. Take care

  6. Have you looked into TMS? if not, please do. There is a lot of people that have overcome Anhedonia with this treatment. Even after years of having it.

  7. I too feel this way. Just waiting....I have a 19 month old and I find it difficult to do daily tasks with her (i get them done but it's hell getting through it) I find myself doing things like rushing while making her scrambled eggs in the morning just so I can sit back on the couch. I realised how bad it had gotten today. It took every bit of strength I had to take her outside so she could play. Even then I just sat on the front porch and watched. Everything seems "foggy" like I'm here but I can't think straight. I'm so drained all the time...even when I'm doing nothing. Anyways I'm rambling. Maybe someone will see this. Or not. Writing this down is making me feel for a moment anyways. -Devvon