When you look at someone's life from the outside, it's impossible to know their daily struggles.
It's hard to imagine anahedonia unless you've experienced it. You may seem normal on the outside, yet you aren't who you were before. Things that are major victories to you now are things you wouldn't have thought twice about accomplishing before.
I marvel at myself. I once used to accomplish an incredible number of things during the day. Now, I'm happy to have washed and dried a load of laundry (bonus points for folding them and putting them away).
I think one of the keys to survival is reframing our victories to the simpler things. You might not feel the pride of accomplishment because you tend to see what has not been done (especially in comparison to the you of the past). It's easy to see what's missing, what has to be done. What if we focused on some of the smaller victories. Sure the laundry hasn't been folded and put away, but it's been washed. Better than yesterday. The dishes haven't been put away, but they are clean. Small steps. Baby steps.
To quote Dory from Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming."
Maybe by reframing the way we think, the frustrating feelings of defeat won't weigh us down so much.
Maybe if we acknowledge what we have done, rather than focusing on what we haven't done (or have lost), positive emotions will start to peak through the darkness we live in. And, maybe, just maybe, they will continue to peak through until the darkness no longer covers the light.
Just a thought. Just a thought.
That sounds like a very wise approach. It has helped me with my depression, and I hope that it will help you with your anhedonia. I think of you often and I am always rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteHow are you holding up? I don't know how you do it. I'm constantly crying and playing with my son feels so foreign. I feel nothing. It's so hard to act. Do you just fake it with him. I'm 11 months in and still very lost on how to deal with this. I need some guidance. Thank you
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