Insurance Company Woes

I finally made a decision. I was going to roll the dice and continue with the long term disability.

It came after a fright... My line of credit wasn't paid by the insurance company. I really FREAKED out. I was terrified. How could they do this without telling me? It was horrible. I am still reeling. I was hysterical. Can you imagine? Stopping making payments with no warning. No WARNING, SICKENING. Still no proper explanation.

After this happened - my greatest fear happened - I thought I would have  to confront my insurance company. If it happened once, who is to say it won't happen again.  So, I called and was reassured that they wouldn't do it to me - stop payments without warning.  I told her I couldn't accept their settlement offer because I wasn't feeling any better than I was before. I was the same - despite the lack of medication. (How pathetic... I was taking medication for eight months, getting sick from it, and now feeling NO DIFFERENT! The doctor didn't listen to me enough to realise the medication wasn't working!!! What's this health care system about.) She said as long as I had doctor's notes saying I couldn't work, I'd continue to receive payments. Well. I hope so.

All of this sucks. Why does the insurance company treat me like dirt, making things much worse than I already do? I'm already in rough shape. Why do they torment me? Add more to my angst. I really wanted to end things. But, thankfully, I had an appointment with counsellors and was able to hold tight and survive to live another day.

I really think the insurance company wants me to die, so they don't have to continue paying me. That, or push me out before I'm ready. Sick. Sick. Sick. And, to think I honestly thought they were trying to help me. That they were in my corner. Now, in addition to trying to get better, I have to deal with the sneaky, underhanded, manipulative way they are handling my case. Yup. I'm paranoid. But wouldn't  you be?

How am I supposed to get better with this threat hanging over my head?