Hibernating...

Today in group like they do in every session, they asked us to describe how we were feeling.  I said I felt like hibernating.

Too much stimulation over the weekend meant that I needed a break.  A break from talking. A break from being.  Unfortunately, as soon as I explained my feelings, they started asking questions. I couldn't hibernate like I wanted to.

I know I'm an introvert. So, when things are busy, I know I need a break from people.  I don't get a break very often.  In fact, it hadn't happened regularly for about a year.  If I don't get a chance to recharge my batteries, I get sick... and become unable to do anything.  Unable to function.

Despite my need to hide today, I did meet a dear friend whom I haven't seen in a couple of years.  I was tempted to say no to her, but I knew that our visits are few and far between now that she's living in another part of the country.  She was as lovely as usual.  I didn't feel anything.  I didn't feel the connection.  And, that made me sad.

Then, I decided to go swimming, something I haven't done in more than four years.  Truth be told, I swim like a hammer.  I did it though.  I swam eight entire laps.  Not an accomplishment for most people, but for me it was, especially given how I am feeling today.  Thankfully, swimming can be very solitary, and that's exactly what I needed today.

Not sure what tomorrow will bring. My Mom suggested we go shopping after my session.  I thought it would be too much, so I suggested we do it on Wednesday instead.

I wish I could hide.  I wish I could vanish for a little while and not worry about anyone else for a day. Unrealistic... Sigh.